


Domestic Drabbles of the Strange and Crabby

by SkylarEQuinn



Category: Collar x Malice (Visual Novel)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2020-12-28 17:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21140726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylarEQuinn/pseuds/SkylarEQuinn
Summary: When Takeru Sasazuka finds himself without a place to live, he ends up rooming with the most unlikely of his companions, Kageyuki Shiraishi. With the two being as different as they are, can they really manage to live together under the same roof? This series of one shots tells of their adventures as roommates.





	1. Prologue

Takeru Sasazuka couldn't believe what he was hearing when he got that memorable call from his landlord. "What the hell do you mean I have to be out of here by the end of the week?" he nearly shouted into the phone. "Do you realize that it's already Thursday? Where am I supposed to go?" He listened for a moment. "The hell do you mean that's not your problem? You can't legally do this!"

Frustrated, he yelled a bit more at his landlord before hanging up. "Fucking selling the building," he grumbled to himself. He sighed as he looked over at the computers and other technology that he would have to move and sighed. What was he going to do with everything? It wasn't like he could find a new apartment and be able to move into it within two days.

The first person he could think of to call was Yanagi. Perhaps he could be of service to help him find a place to stay until he could find himself a suitable apartment. Sasazuka cringed at the thought of having to stay at the agency with Yanagi and that idiotic Enomoto. He felt that his brain cells would rot away the longer he had to be in the same room as the loudmouthed moron. Then again, there was no way that he could stay in a hotel either. It was too expensive, and there was no way he could trust his belongings not to go missing.

One thing led to another, and he somehow ended up at Shiraishi's home. All of his tech gear was in the corner of the front room for easy transport when it came time for him to move to his own place. He himself didn't know whether to feel relieved or even more distressed over the fact that he was now going to have to share living quarters with Shiraishi. On one hand, at least the taller man was intelligent and could hold intelligent conversation. But on the other hand, it was Shiraishi, the King of the Eccentric.

On his first night there, as Sasazuka made his bed on the living room sofa, Shiraishi observed him from the bedroom doorway. His face held no expression or anything, Shiraishi was simply just watching the smaller man prepare for bed.

Sasazuka groaned, not even bothering to look toward the blond. "What is it?" he asked, making it apparent in his voice that he didn't take too kindly to being watched in such a manner. Internally, he was cursing himself for staying with the other man, but it was the best option he had.

"Don't mind me," Shiraishi insisted. "I am simply observing." He made no effort to move from where he was standing, nor did he show any signs of finding something else to do. Though he knew he was frustrating his guest by standing there and watching him, he refused to move from where he was.

"How can I not mind this complete invasion of privacy?" Sasazuka sighed from the sofa. "What part of your microscopic brain makes you think that anyone would be comfortable with being watched like this?"

A small smile played on the taller man's lips. "People like you are more fun to observe than others." He pointed to Sasazuka as his baffled gaze hardened into a glare. "Your reactions are just so simple, yet there is so much emotion conveyed through them. I could watch you all day."

"Could you perform your creepy hobbies on someone else?" the man on the couch sighed. "You don't seem to understand how unsettling your presence can really be. If it were anyone other than me, they would be gone by now. Being a profiler and all, people would think you understand people and all, but you really don't."

Shiraishi smiled happily. "I understand as much as I need to in order to know a criminal."

The green-haired man rolled his eyes. "Yup. And that's it." He could already tell that staying with Shiraishi was going to be much more than he had originally bargained for. All he could do was hope that he would find a new place to live soon.


	2. Breakfast

Two days into living with Shiraishi, Sasazuka was ready to tear his hair out. How could one person be so good at understanding people but be so bad about being around people at the same time? He just wanted to tear his hair out with frustration. Never in his life had he been around someone so horrible with people. It was almost painful to be in his presence.

Even when they weren't at their shared home, Sasazuka could never seem to escape Shiraishi. That man was everywhere he went, and he was just about sick of it! He was getting so desperate for time away from the other man that he was certain he would make a deal with a demon before too long. His companion was getting to be too much for him to handle.

"What's wrong, Takeru?" Shiraishi asked, poking his head over his roommate's shoulder. "You seem extra grumpy today. What didn't go your way this time?"

Sasazuka slammed his fists down on the desk in front of him, narrowly missing his keyboard. "'What's wrong?' you ask?" He whirled around on the other man. "You're what's wrong, you fucking cat predator! Why are you so difficult and warped?! You make me so mad! Your very existence makes me uncomfortable, and I don't understand why I ended up stuck with you in the first place! Your presence is driving me off the fucking walls! I feel like I'm going insane the longer you're around me!"

Shiraishi stood there in silence for a few moments, a blank expression on his face. A small smile played on his lips as he looked over at Sasazuka. "Do you feel better now?"

"As if I would!" Sasazuka shouted, pulling his coat on. "I'm going out! Don't wait up!" He then stormed out of the small apartment, not even bothering to say goodbye. Why would he anyway? That guy was, without a doubt, the most obnoxious person he had ever met in his entire twenty-four years of existence.

His body trembled with rage as he attempted to walk down the stairs on the outside of the apartment. He was so shaky that he couldn't even walk straight. Why did he have to live with such a person? Was this the Almighty's way of punishing him for something? If so, it seemed pretty messed up to him.

Sasazuka walked around aimlessly for nearly an hour, just trying to calm down. The only reason he decided to go back to Shiraishi's apartment was simply because he couldn't feel his fingers. That, and he wanted to grab his laptop before going to the agency for the day. His icy fingers had trouble grasping the doorknob, but he finally managed to open the door after many tries.

"You're back, Takeru," Shiraishi stated, poking his head out of the kitchen. "It took you eleven tries to open the front door. I could hear you fumbling around with the door knob. Are your hands cold?"

"Why does it matter?" Sasazuka spat at him, throwing himself on the couch and sitting on his hands. "And if you heard me fumbling with the knob, why didn't you do something?"

"That would ruin all of the fun, don't you think? Besides, if I were to help you, you would be just as crabby as you currently are, so it was a double-edged sword. Therefore, it does not matter in the least whether I helped or not, so I chose to preserve my energy."

"Your detached way of thinking makes you even worse than you already are," the green-haired man muttered to himself, sighing. He knew that his roommate was correct in his assumption of the situation, but there was no way that he would ever openly admit to something like that. Though Shiraishi got on his nerves way more often than not, it did appear that the man knew him well. Unfortunately, there was no way for Sasazuka to return the favor. After all, no one knew a thing about the blond.

Shiraishi poked his head back out of the kitchen. "Oh yeah, Takeru? Are you hungry?"

"Why do you ask?" Sasazuka couldn't help but be suspicious of any food that man could give him. Who was to say he could trust it? They may work together, but that didn't excuse the fact that Shiraishi was the shadiest of the bunch. He would rather eat something Enomoto cooked before anything prepared by Shiraishi.

"Well, it's about time for breakfast," the blond began. He could be heard rustling around in the kitchen. "I was thinking you would be hungry, even if I'm not." Shiraishi emerged from the kitchen with a plate. "That's why I made sure that I had some of these."

Three donuts sat stacked on the plate. Sasazuka's eyes widened. What was the meaning of this? Should he eat them? Was anything done to them? He accepted the plate and eyed it suspiciously. At a glance, he couldn't detect anything off about it.

"Oh my, this is interesting," Shiraishi commented, watching Sasazuka. "Do you suspect me of poisoning the donuts or something? This intrigues me. Don't you believe that if I wanted to kill you off, I would've done it much earlier or possibly even in a different way? Please, share your thoughts with me, Takeru."

Sasazuka sighed and pushed the donuts away from him. "Forget it, I'm not hungry anymore."


	3. Bunk Beds

"You have got to be kidding me!" Sasazuka shouted at his computer screen. He was so tempted to just smash the whole thing on the floor. "Stupid fucking quarantine! How are there no apartments available?! There are so many abandoned buildings!" Muttering every expletive that came to mind, he pushed himself away from his makeshift desk. "How long am I going to have to sleep on a goddamned couch?!"

"What's wrong this time, Takeru?" Shiraishi nonchalantly inquired, stepping into the living room. "Is something wrong with my couch?"

"Is something wrong with your….Can you not see that literally everything is wrong?! How are you the most fucking dense profiler that I have ever had the displeasure of meeting?! It's like you're from an entirely different planet! Why are you the strangest fucking person in Shinjuku?!" He closed his mouth for fear of not being able to stop once he truly started going. His mind would eventually stop thinking up witty insults, but until then, he decided to clamp his lips shut.

"You don't have anymore insults for me?" he asked. "That's almost disappointing. Your creativity amuses me." His mouth fell into a frown as he crossed his arms over his chest. "So you're sick of my couch, Takeru? How do you suppose we fix that?"

Sasazuka rolled his eyes so exaggeratedly that he was surprised that his eyes hadn't actually rolled back into his skull. Why had he implied a team effort? He wanted nothing more to do with that man! The only way to fix things was for him to get out of there! But if he left, where would he go? Yanagi already had his hands full with Enomoto, and he'd rather die than ask that stupid cat Hoshino for help. No matter how he looked at it, he was most definitely screwed.

After nearly a minute of awkward silence, Shiraishi finally spoke up. "If you have no suggestions, then shall I take matters into my own hands?"

Feeling his temper rising, the other man crammed his laptop into its carrying case and headed toward the door. "Do whatever the hell you want. I'm going to the office." He then turned to his roommate and sighed deeply. "Just don't go too overboard." Unsure of whether or not his words fell on deaf ears, he left the apartment.

.

Delaying his trek home from the office as long as possible, he decided to ask Sakuragawa out for drinks. He arrived earlier than she did and didn't wait to start drinking. He was on his second glass by the time the lavender-haired woman arrived, friends in tow.

"Hope you don't mind, but I invited Hoshino and Mukai to join us," Sakuragawa stated with a grin. She sat across from Sasazuka, Mukai taking the seat next to her as Hoshino sat next to him. "Besides, you're living with the Director, and as the Shiraishi Bashing Coalition, we are here to support you!"

Sasazuka rolled his eyes. "That's comforting," he dryly stated, taking a sip of his drink. He shot a quick glance toward Hoshino, who looked just about beside herself with nerves. With a heavy sigh, he pushed his drink toward her. "Settle your nerves, you stupid cat. You look like you're going to pass out or something." Signaling for the waitress to bring him another drink, he turned to Sakuragawa. "So, do you just squad up when a guy invites you out, or what?"

"Oh, shut up," she groaned back. Sakuragawa grabbed his new drink out of his hand and took a gulp before handing it back. "It's not like this was a date or anything. Relax."

He rolled his eyes. "So this Shiraishi Bashing Coalition….What the hell even is it?"

Mukai clenched her fist tightly and slammed it on the table, causing the other two girls to flinch. "I hate that man with a burning passion! Today, he left all of his work to me! Apparently, something came up at home, so he couldn't come in, but I find that odd, considering that you're sitting right here! Aren't you his roommate, Sasazuka?! What the hell happened?!"

Sasazuka suddenly stood up, pulling on his coat. "I have a bad feeling about all of this," he stated, fishing around in his pocket for his wallet. "I have to go." He then rushed to pay for his drinks before running out the door, ignoring Mukai's protesting shouts of, "Get back here and explain yourself, Sasazuka!"

Never in his entire life had he ran as fast as he did while racing back to the apartment. Before reaching his destination, he could already sense the danger of the situation. How could he have been so stupid as to leave Shiraishi to his own devices? His mind was screaming at him as he burst through the front door of the apartment like an avalanche.

Shiraishi stepped into the living room, a troubled expression on his face. "Takeru?" he asked. "What brings you here in such a manner? Were you exercising?"

"Exercising, my ass!" Sasazuka growled at him, narrowing his eyes. He bent over, placing his hands on his knees to hold himself up as he struggled to catch his breath. "What the hell have you been doing all day?!"

The other man's normally-dull, lifeless eyes seemed to light up with excitement. "Yes! That's right! Follow me, Takeru!" He turned and headed toward his bedroom. "Don't take all day!"

Fed up, Sasazuka stalked off toward the bedroom. "That doesn't answer my question, idiot! I swear to God, if you…." His voice trailed off as he looked into the bedroom. Nothing could have prepared him for that moment. "What the hell have you done?" he breathed.

Where Shiraishi's bed once sat stood a large, full-sized bunk bed. As comfortable as it looked, Sasazuka internally battled over whether or not to accept the bunk.

"I got a bunk bed," the blond stated. "Now you no longer have to sleep on my couch. What do you think? Aren't you grateful for my consideration?"

Sasazuka took one look at the bunk beds that Shiraishi was so proudly gesturing to and could only utter one dry response. "Thanks, I hate it."


	4. Late-Night Ponderings

If there was anything Takeru Sasazuka hated more than the bunk bed his roommate bought, it was the fact that Shiraishi laid claim to the top bunk. Every night, Shiraishi would lean down over his bunk to stick his head in Sasazuka's bunk, only to ask pointless questions or to start a conversation that would be otherwise obsolete other than be used to stay awake. It was to the point that Sasazuka was honestly considering investing in ear plugs.

On the first night of it, Shiraishi had laid atop his bunk and simply asked, "Takeru, wouldn't a lethal dose of a drug just be considered a lifetime supply?" Another night, he had poked his head down into Sasazuka's bunk, hair flowing down below him and nearly touching the floor, to ask, "People claim that glasses make you look smarter, but don't you have to fail a test to even acquire them?"

Sasazuka didn't even want to think about the idea of entertaining such absurd questions, especially at two o'clock in the morning! He would always roll over so his back was facing Shiraishi, pretending to be asleep. Sometimes he wondered if his roommate actually bought it or not. Then again, he didn't care enough to know the answer to that. It would only be playing into Shiraishi's hands. And so began the late nights of suffering for Takeru Sasazuka.

.

One night, after a long day at the office, Shiraishi struck Sasazuka with a question much earlier than he usually did. It was directly after they had gone to their separate bunks, making it impossible for Sasazuka to fake sleep.

Shiraishi, hung his head down into Sasazuka's bunk, eyes wide with curiosity, leaving Sasazuka no choice but to acknowledge the other man's presence. "Takeru, I have a question." He ignored the dramatic eye roll his roommate replied with and pressed on with what he had planned to say. "Do you think the action of clapping would technically just be you hitting yourself over and over in response to something you like?"

Sasazuka froze. Never in his life had he heard something like that. Who in the world would think up something so utterly ludicrous? What in the actual hell did that man's brain think of throughout the day? Who would actual think up something like that? He couldn't even begin to comprehend what Shiraishi was saying. Why that night, of all nights, did he have to ask something so ridiculous?

"Where did you even think of something like that?" he slowly asked. "What the actual fuck possessed you into thinking about what the action of clapping would technically be considered?"

A small smile played on the other man's lips. "Who knows," he carelessly stated. "But would you think that is the technical truth? I mean, you are repeatedly hitting a part of your body to show your appreciation, but for what? Who ever thought of something like that? What does clapping originally even mean? Who originally thought up the idea to clap to show our appreciation? Who was the first person to ever clap and explain that it meant the enjoyed something?"

"Don't do this to me," Sasazuka muttered, unsure of whether he was talking to his own brain or his absurd roommate. "What the fuck?"

"Well, let me know your answer whenever you come to a conclusion on it." With that, Shiraishi disappeared back into his bunk.

Sasazuka, however, suddenly felt as if he were a man possessed. He had been slightly sleepy before, but now that he was actually thinking about it, he was wide awake, energized, and craving answers. How had he fallen so quickly for Shiraishi's bait? As he began researching everything he wanted to know about clapping, he cursed his roommate in his head.

.

After nearly two hours of research, Sasazuka had exhausted himself and found his answers he was looking for. It was well past midnight, but at least he knew what he wanted to know. He raised his leg and kicked the bunk above him, yet there was no response. Knowing Shiraishi was up there, he kicked again.

When he failed to receive a response a second time, Sasazuka stood on the edge of his bunk and peeked up into his roommate's bunk. Shiraishi was fast asleep, snoring softly. How the fuck had this happened? That damned bastard never went to bed so early! What was this fuckery?

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" the mint-haired man raged. "What the fuck, Shiraishi?! Why would you ask me something like that and then fucking fall asleep?! You're unbelievable!" After venting a bit more of his pent-up rage upon the sleeping Shiraishi, he laid back down in his own bunk and sulked.

While he hated the bunk beds and the fact that Shiraishi had claimed the top bunk, he now hated something even more. He hated the fact that he knew everything there was to know about clapping, but not as much as the fact that he learned all of that information for Shiraishi.


	5. Random Acts of Kindness

Kageyuki Shiraishi often found the tapping of keys on a keyboard to be a calming noise. There were times when Sasazuka would be on his computer in the living room, and he would lie in his bunk and relax as he listened to the fast-paced tapping. Sometimes, he would feel so relaxed that he would even sport a rare genuine smile on his features. In those moments, in his mind, he would imagine that his life was just a simulation and that it could be easily controlled and he wouldn’t have to live the way he always had.

One night, as he was listening to Sasazuka coding and tapping away on his keyboard, Shiraishi seemed to have dozed off. He blinked open his green eyes at some ungodly hour before the sun was nowhere to be found and noticed that the light in the bedroom was still on. Feeling confused, he sat up and scratched his head. If the light was still on, that meant Sasazuka wasn’t sleeping. But that didn’t make sense, considering the fact that the apartment was silent.

Just to make sure, Shiraishi poked his head down into his roommate’s bunk, and sure enough it was empty. He was completely puzzled by the strange situation. What was going on? Heaving himself from his bunk, he stealthily made his way to the floor to investigate.

Rounding the corner into the living room, he found his mint-haired roommate, fast asleep at his computer. The screen had long since gone black from inactivity, Sasazuka’s head resting next to the keyboard. Shiraishi found the sight utterly charming. He figured that his roommate was rather adorable, especially when he wasn’t talking. Enchanted by what he was seeing, the blond was careful not to wake him as he crept back into the bedroom and grabbed a blanket.

He returned to the living room, carefully holding the blanket, and draped it over Sasazuka. His mouth stretched into one of his most genuine smiles as he watched his roommate stir in his sleep only long enough to snuggle into the blanket’s warmth. Shiraishi watched him for a few more moments. If only things could always be like this. Then, he yawned and headed to bed.

.

Sasazuka woke up at his desk, wrapped in the blanket. “What the fuck?” he whispered to himself, examining his surroundings. He certainly didn’t have that blanket when he had been sitting there the previous night. Wiggling the mouse to check the time on his computer, he was surprised to find that it was nearly noon. He stretched and yawned, noticing that the apartment was particularly quiet.

Finding it all too suspicious, he got up to investigate. Shiraishi was nowhere to be found, but there was a plate of donuts on the kitchen countertop with a note that said, ‘I realized I had some donuts, so I left them out for you. Don’t forget to eat.’ Letting out a small huff, Sasazuka crumpled the note up in his hand as he grabbed a donut and took a bite. Delighted by how delicious the donut was, he quickly ate the rest of them and prepared to leave for the office.

.

Kei Okazaki was out on a late-night patrol that night and couldn’t help but notice an odd sight. Were his eyes betraying him, or was Shiraishi out shopping for sweets? He decided to approach him and ask directly. “Shiraishi, I didn’t know you liked donuts,” he mused, walking up behind the other man.

“They have a unique taste to them, do they not?” the blond asked, turning to his companion and giving him a dangerous smile. “I have decided that I wish to partake in every kind available.” He then cast a wary glance toward the matcha-flavored pastries. “Unfortunately, those ones are not as delectable as the rest.”

“No?” Okazaki asked, cocking his head to the side. “Odd.” He picked one up and took a bite. “It tastes fine to me.”

“Have you seen the shit you eat?” Shiraishi flatly asked, turning away from the officer. He made his way to the register to pay for the donuts. “It would do you some good to eat some things that are good for you, no?”

The white-haired officer stared at Shiraishi as he paid and left the store, head cocked to the side in confusion. Usually, the two of them would have much more banter than that. Why did the other man seem as if he were in a rush? Deciding not to care about it, Okazaki left to continue his patrol with Yoshinari, only gently bullying his subordinate that night.

.

Sasazuka woke up the next morning to a completely silent apartment once more. Once again, his roommate wasn’t home, but he found another plate of donuts with a similar note. Something seemed strange about the donuts, though. If Shiraishi simply had donuts lying around, wouldn’t he know about them? Not only that, but the donuts on the plate looked remotely fresh. His suspicions rose, but he didn’t know what to do about it.

Was Shiraishi also the one who put the blanket on him the previous night? The blond being kind was unsettling to Sasazuka. What was he trying to do? But there was no doubt about it in his mind. Shiraishi was going out of his way to do nice things for him. How should he respond?

He pondered the idea of it the whole day. Should he return the favor somehow? But how? And what would Shiraishi do if he were to do that? Then again, why was he doing random nice things for him anyway? Sasazuka was so confused about it that he couldn’t concentrate on the case he was working on, opting to leave the agency early.

What kinds of things did Shiraishi like anyway? The man’s obsession with cats was simply something that could lead him to figure out something to do for him. But what was the point in doing something nice for his roommate? Why would he need to? Shiraishi was doing all of those random things of his own volition. It had nothing to do with him, or so Sasazuka tried to tell himself.

While thinking, Sasazuka found himself in a stationary store, examining pens. Why was he here? He didn’t need anything. And then his eye caught a pen with cats printed on it, cat ears built into the cap of it. The pen seemed to scream “Shiraishi”, but why should Sasazuka care? Needless to say, he still purchased it and headed home, tucking the small bag deep into the pocket of his coat.

That night, once he was sure Shiraishi had drifted off for his usual evening nap, he placed the pen on the countertop where he normally found the plate of donuts. Sasazuka still wasn’t quite sure why he was doing such a thing, but he decided to shrug it off and just do something nice for the other man. Feeling fulfilled, he decided to head to bed.

.

Sasazuka was woken at the crack of dawn by Shiraishi jumping onto him. He groggily opened his eyes to see the excited blond pinning him to his bunk. Feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed, he stared up at his roommate, eyes wide in shock and horror. “What do you want?” he groaned.

“You are quite thoughtful, aren’t you?” Shiraishi excitedly asked. He leaned back, sitting on his roommate’s legs, straddling them between his own. “I was considering getting a new pen for the office on my way to work. Mine had run out of ink yesterday afternoon, forcing me to leave the rest of the large stack of paperwork to Mukai.”

Sasazuka rolled his eyes. “You’re a real piece of work,” he sighed. “Are you sure you should be the director of that department?”

“Thank you for the cat pen!” the blond enthused, marveling at the pen in his hands. “How long did it take you to pick this out anyway? It’s perfect and practical. You must have put a lot of thought into it.”

“Will you shut up?” the mint-haired man groaned. “And get off of me! You’re heavy!”

His roommate was too distracted by the cat pen to notice his words. “I will treasure it forever!”

“Please don’t.”

Shiraishi stood up. “Well, I should be getting to work. Thank you for the pen! I’ll take good care of it!”

Only once he was certain that the blond was gone, Sasazuka rolled back over in bed, utterly horrified by his roommate’s reaction. His heart was still pounding from all of it. What the hell even was that? He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to get Shiraishi’s overjoyed face out of his mind. Why would he even think about that anyway?


	6. Of Cat Ears and Donuts

Seeing as how Sasazuka and Shiraishi seemed to be getting along better, Enomoto, Yanagi, and Hoshino often made comments about how the two of them were brilliant enough to be excellent teammates. Upon hearing those comments, Sasazuka would pretend to gag and then make some snarky comment along the lines of, “Yeah, if you want one of us dead by the second day.” Shiraishi would usually agree with the others when told such things, much to Sasazuka’s dismay. It wasn’t as if the two of them were best friends by any means. In fact, they hardly even spoke to each other. Why did people think that they were suddenly the best of friends. Was it the cat pen? It had better not be the cat pen.

“I don’t understand how you don’t see it,” Hoshino mused one day as she was helping Sasazuka with his work. “You two get along great and you’re both brilliant in your fields. Between the two of you, I’m certain you would be able to take down any criminal, even Adonis.”

Sasazuka scowled at her. “You’re currently wasting oxygen by saying such stupid things. Now stop talking, you stupid cat. Get back to work. You’re not helping anyone by preaching to me about your damn opinions.”

She lowered her head, going back to sorting the data he had printed off. After about five minutes of silence, she finally piped up once more. “I don’t see why you’re being like this. Anyone with eyes can see how well the two of you work together, yet when it’s people around you, you’re always so quick to deny it. At least Shiraishi can take a compliment.”

“Who said you could start talking again?” he demanded, glaring over at her. “I don’t need you saying stupid things to me and distracting me from my work. If you’re going to keep going on like this, do me a favor and find someone else to bother.”

Hoshino closed her mouth, biting her lips shut from the inside for emphasis. She didn’t know what was bothering him, but if he was in that bad of a mood, then he was best left alone. Normally, she wouldn’t stand for him speaking to her in such a manner, but that day she was choosing to pick her battles wisely. After all, Sasazuka kinda scared her when he was angry, and she would rather not be on the receiving end of that rage. It happened too many times already.

After an hour of silence between the two, Sasazuka stood up. “Let’s go, Hoshino.”

Shocked, her eyes widened. “Where are we going? We still have work to do. What if Yanagi finds out about this?”

He fixed her with a hard glare. “I need donuts, now let’s go.” Sasazuka packed up his laptop and slung the bag over his shoulder. “It won’t take long. I just need some sustenance to be able to work properly. The sooner we go, the sooner we can come back and get our work done.”

Hoshino’s eyes widened, but she quickly gathered all of the data printouts and put them neatly in her bag. “Okay, let’s go,” she told him. “But not too long, right?”

“The more questions you ask, the longer it will take,” he groaned, walking toward the door. “Now hurry up. I have to lock the place since no one else is here.” He pulled a key from his pocket and waited for her to join him out in the hallway. Quickly locking the door, he set off down the staircase. “The donut shop is right around the corner. If you’re quiet the whole way there, I’ll get you some too. How does that sound?”

Needing no more prompting, Hoshino quickly clamped her lips shut once more and followed after him. It wasn’t often when Sasazuka offered her donuts, and she wasn’t the type to refuse that type of kindness from him. If silence was what he wanted from her, that was most certainly what he was going to get.

.

That night at their apartment, Sasazuka and Shiraishi tapped away at their keyboards side-by-side. Feeling it would be more efficient than not, the two had set up their computers in the living room. Since there wasn’t as much room in the living room as they would like, the two had to work side-by-side when on them. Not that either of them minded much. It was what it was.

Before too long, Shiraishi stopped working at his computer and began messing with the cat ears atop his head. He took them out of his blond hair and began turning them over in his hand, casting quick glances toward Sasazuka. Knowing that his roommate was too absorbed in his work to notice what he was doing, he began to contemplate things. Though he knew that Sasazuka would freak out at him if he dared to do what he was thinking, he decided that life was no fun without taking chances.

When Sasazuka felt Shiraishi’s slender hand make its way into his hair, he stopped everything he was doing and sighed loudly. “What are you doing, Shiraishi?” he groaned. He thought he had grown used to the blond’s antics, but apparently he was wrong. What was this man’s deal? Couldn’t he just leave him alone for a few minutes?

“May I mess with your hair a bit, Takeru?” the other man calmly asked.

“Am I supposed to say yes to that?” the mint-haired man asked, confused. “What the fuck is your deal? I’m trying to work here. Can’t you see that? I don’t need you messing with my hair.”

“What if I find other ways to annoy you instead?”

“Why are you like this? You know what, fuck it. If it will get you to stop bothering me, play with my hair. Even though that’s really fucking weird, just do it.” Seeing as how he would lose either way, he decided to just let Shiraishi have his fun in the least distracting way. “No talking to me, though. I need to finish this code I’m working on.”

As he worked, the light pull on his hair as Shiraishi messed around with it was quite calming. Not like he’d ever admit that aloud, though. Doing that would only encourage that strange man to do things of this sort more often. At least it was more calming than annoying, though he hoped his roommate wasn’t doing anything too crazy with it.

“Takeru! Takeru, look!” Shiraishi excitedly said, handing Sasazuka one of the handheld mirrors from the bathroom. “Now say meow!”

Sasazuka looked at his reflection after grabbing the mirror. He grimaced in disgust as he looked at his reflection. Right there in his hair were those goddamned cat ears that Shiraishi usually wore in his. “And what made you believe that this was okay to do?”

“Can’t you just accept how great you look?”

The mint-haired man sighed. “I don’t know if I’ve told you this today, but I guess I can say it now. I hate you, Shiraishi.”

Shiraishi grinned. “That’s what I like to hear!”


	7. From Me To You

Takeru Sasazuka sighed as he tapped his pen on the office desk, debating whether or not to go back home. He had found a dead end on his lead, which led to an excruciating headache. The only thing keeping him from going home was the fact that Shiraishi would more than likely make his head hurt worse just by existing in the same vicinity as him. It had already been two months, and he still wasn’t used to that idiot.

Mineo Enomoto grabbed Sasazuka’s pen from his hand and threw it across the room. “Go home, Seaweed,” he grumbled. “If you’re not going to do any work, then leave. Your tapping is getting annoying.”

The mint-haired man looked away, biting the inside of his cheek in annoyance. Of course Enomoto had to show up and aggravate his mood even worse. Unfortunately, his headache was too distracting for him to think of a proper comeback.

“Hey, are you okay?” Enomoto asked, worry apparent in his gaze. “You’re not insulting me. This isn’t like you. Are you sick or something?” He extended a cautious finger toward Sasazuka and gently poked and prodded at him.

Sasazuka slapped the other man’s hand away, fixing him with an icy glare. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he snapped. “Fuck off!” He closed his laptop and stuffed it into his bag, standing up with an irritated huff. “You’re so damn annoying,” Sasazuka grumbled, making his way toward the door. “Idiot.”

On his way down the staircase, he ran into Hoshino, who looked as if she had many questions, but he didn’t have neither the energy nor the patience to answer them. “Don’t talk to me,” he simply said, hurrying past her. Sensing that she was turning to retort, he picked up his pace and jumped the last few stairs to the landing before turning into the staircase in her blind spot. All he needed in that moment was a means of escape from everything.

Dreading actually going home, Sasazuka sat on a park bench, his characteristic frown on his face as he crossed his arms over his chest. While he was glad there were no squealing children playing there, he was also sad about it as well. If these stupid X-Day murders weren’t going on, then children would be free to be children again and he wouldn’t have this stupid headache and he wouldn’t have to live with Shiraishi and he especially wouldn’t have to deal with all of the stress he had been under.

Wanting to scream out his frustrations in this eerily silent park but also not wanting to make a scene, he stood up and stomped the rest of the way home. He had never been one who could hold back his bitterness, but his head hurt too much to be doing much else. All he wanted to do was crawl into his bunk and go to bed the moment he got home, which he did when he realized that Shiraishi hadn’t even made it home yet.

And somehow he managed to sleep through the night without a single disturbance from his irritating roommate.

.

Sasazuka woke the next morning feeling better than he had in years. He sat up and stretched, noticing a plate of donuts beside his bed with a small note that had his name on it. Making sure Shiraishi wasn’t home first, he gladly accepted the plate of donuts and even smiled as he ate them.

Waking up to peace and quiet and donuts seemed like a treat for Sasazuka. He knew that Shiraishi studied him a lot and probably left early on purpose. Just thinking about it confused him a little. Why would Shiraishi do that? What did he want in return? That man never did anything for free. Sasazuka wracked his brain for any thought of what to do for him in return.

.

Deciding to skip going to the office that day, Sasazuka wandered around Shinjuku. He wasn’t in the mood for other people, or at least people who knew him. Instead, he chose to peruse some cheap shops as he thought over the facts he already knew about the case he was working on. As he thought of the motive behind killing people who played the same game online, he absently grabbed a stuffed cat off of a shelf, stroking it as he walked around the store.

Upon reaching the front, he noticed that the cat was still in his hand and felt disgusted. Of all things he could have grabbed, why did it have to be a fucking cat plush? His mind instantly went to his annoying roommate and how he’d left those donuts for him that morning. He instantly came up with a great idea to repay him and grabbed all of the stuffed cats that he could find, taking them up to the register.

.

That night, Sasazuka pretended to sleep until he heard Shiraishi softly snoring from the top bunk. He quickly got out of bed and stole away to the hall closet, the only place he knew Shiraishi wouldn’t see upon coming home. Inside were three large grocery bags full of cat plushies. Being as quiet as he possibly could, Sasazuka emptied the bags and carried all of the cats to his bunk.

Careful not to wake Shiraishi, he put all of the cats into his roommate’s bunk to the point that it was nearly bursting with them. Satisfied with his handiwork, he went back to bed, smiling triumphantly.

.

The next morning, Sasazuka slept through his alarm, but it wasn’t as if he had anywhere to be. Something about his bed didn’t feel right, though. He slowly opened his eyes to see all sorts of cords and flash drives and hard drives surrounding him. There were even a few keyboards and computer mice along with speakers. 

Sitting up, he panicked for a moment before remembering the cats he had snuck into Shiraishi’s bed. He smirked to himself as he took in his surroundings.

‘Clever,’ he thought. ‘But just you wait until I’m inspired again.’


End file.
